you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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