margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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