I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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