i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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