Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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