just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
