Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.