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• (813): View more from Florida

  The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.

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• (760): View more from California

  i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night

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• (626): View more from California

  It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.

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