Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"