Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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