I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
