I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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