You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
