You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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