I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
