My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
