Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
