I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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