i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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