It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
