i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
