Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize