It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
