Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
