i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
