i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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