when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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