they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
