my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
