I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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