she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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