And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
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Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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