Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
