if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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