I just cut my nipple shaving
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
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we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
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Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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