im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
