you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
