she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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