Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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