My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
