found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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