can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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