This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
