tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
