It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize