So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
