How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
