ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
