My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
