she was so not down for the gang bang
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
