And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
