I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
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you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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