Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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