Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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