just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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