Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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