I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
