i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize