I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
