they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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