nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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