Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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