you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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