did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
