my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
