I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
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It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
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I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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