just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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