I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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