I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
