Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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